15 Things Happy Couples Do In Healthy Relationships That Last
And you can do them, too!
Throughout our lives, we experience all different types of relationships — happy and unhappy, healthy and unhealthy.
When relationships end, men and women ask themselves all kinds of questions about what went wrong and what they could have done differently. But there are so many reasons things don’t work out romantically with a certain individual, it’s hard to know what to look for at times. I know that, for me, I haven’t always been able to figure out an exact reason why some of my own relationships just didn’t last.
Instead of obsessing on finding an answer, I firmly believe that the key to understanding how to have a happy, healthy relationship lies in focusing on the future.
Learning what things to do in order to make sure the next relationship is stronger and better is more beneficial than dwelling on the past.
You can’t change the past, but you can change your approach to relationships in the future.
Instead of thinking about the “should have’s, could have’s, would have’s”, think about the little changes you can make moving forward that will strengthen and enhance what will be next.
This serves a better purpose, and makes for happier couples, than overthinking things you can never go back and change.
Shifting your mindset and approach in even small ways can make a world of difference in your love life. In fact, some of the best relationship advice is so simple, you’ll ask yourself why you never thought of it before now!
Here is a list of 15 things happy couples do that are signs of a healthy relationship — so you can go out and find true love in your own!
1. They see possibilities where others see challenges.
People are going to doubt your relationship and give you reasons as to why the relationship is bound to fail. Every couple goes through ups and downs and has to overcome challenges
Instead of thinking about that, why not think about the possibilities of the relationship working out and what there is to gain from that? That’s what people in happy relationships learn to do.
2. They know when they have nothing to be envious or jealous about.
You and your partner are not in a competition to see who’s better at what. Don’t play that game. You’ll lose every time. Instead, embrace each other’s strength and assist with their areas of growth.
3. They aren’t not constrained by tradition.
Celebrate traditions as defined by you both, but leave some room available to create your own traditions together.
4. They know the past is not the present nor future.
Don’t allow your past to creep up and make your present and future difficult. Deal with the past and let it rest where it belongs … in the past. It’s a key strategy that happy couples have mastered.
5. They notice and see the love around them.
Things happen in life that makes us lose focus on the love and joy that surrounds us. Take a few moments each day to recognize that love and joy.
6. They realize that doing nothing is not an option.
If you do nothing instead of addressing things, the relationship will not work. Communicate with each other.
7. They go for what they need for life, in the long-term, and not just today or tomorrow.
We all want instant gratification at some point in our lives. But we need to focus more on what we need for the long-term rather than immediate.
8. They remember and appreciate the little things.
Everyone can remember the big things like getting engaged or the holidays. It’s the small things like your partner getting you a puzzle book that you love on a random Sunday morning. Those are the times you should remember and unfortunately are not cherished enough.
9. They know that life is not a fairy tale.
It’s just not the reality of life. Life has ups and downs that we have to deal with and at times, it’ll be very overwhelming and feel almost impossible to deal with. Remember, the fairy tales are just fiction stories.
10. They stay aware of their emotions and maintain their sense of control.
Don’t act based solely on emotion. You may say or do something you will regret later on. Make sure you think things through and maintain your composure.
11. They know that nobody is a mind reader.
You can’t read your partner’s mind, and your partner can’t read yours. Happy, healthy couples know that communication is key.
12. They do not rush into anything.
You have time. Don’t rush something you’re not 100 percent sure about.
13. They recognize the friendship in their relationship.
Be your partner’s best friend and maintain that friendship. It keeps the fire burning within the relationship.
14. They emphasize quality over quantity.
Quality time means putting phones and other electronics or distractions away and being present with your partner. Talk about different things such as life goals, work, possible career moves, and so forth.
There is no quality in watching television for an entire evening while on your cell phone and social media.
15. They oust the people who will try to interfere with their relationship.
Discuss this with your partner before anything even happens so there is a plan of attack set in place for when it happens. It’s inevitable. It may be your parents, your partner’s parents, an ex, and so forth. Make sure to discuss this early on in the relationship so there’s a common understanding of how to deal with it.
There is a consistent theme throughout these little secrets listed above — communication.
Communication is the key to making a relationship work and making it last.
The things listed above are so simple, but they do require time. Make the time and you won’t regret it. Your relationship will be great if you take these quick little secrets into consideration.
Stop focusing on why it didn’t work out with someone in the past.
Focus on the now and your future. You can have great relationships if you put your mind to it and remain mindful and open. I guarantee it!
Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.
November 8, 2018 at 11:22PM