20 Signs He’s A Pathological Liar
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
A good friend of mine had the grave misfortune of dating a pathological liar. What is a pathological liar? Well, like many toxic people out there, he seemed to be pretty cool at first. If anything, he seemed to have a rough life that involved a lot of tragedy and wild adventures. We loved to hear his stories and really just enjoyed being around him.
Then, the drama started. First, he claimed one girl was stalking him. She had no idea who he was, and this made my friend start to wonder if she got the story wrong. Next, he started to spread rumors about my friend — bad ones. Trouble continued to brew and my friend started to second-guess herself.
Eventually, word got out that he was a pathological liar. She dumped him, but the damage was done.
Pathological liars are rare to find, but not that rare. There’s still a pretty decent chance you might know one, and if you notice certain signs, you can figure out that he’s a pathological liar before it’s too late. Speaking as someone who’s come across them in the past, these are the most common signs you’re dealing with someone who’s got a lying problem.
1. You catch him telling others little white lies, just because he can.
The funny thing about pathological liars is that they don’t just lie about big things; it’s small things too. They just lie for lying’s sake. As a result, this is the most telltale sign that he’s a pathological liar and that he might also be clinically diagnosed.
2. He’s told you stories that you can literally prove wrong.
Pathological liars don’t care about reality; they care about lying. This move is one of the most common ways that pathological liars gaslight victims, and is often the first step for a pathological liar to become abusive.
3. Multiple people warned you about his lying habits.
Though this is not always the case, the majority of the time that people warn you about someone, it’s for good reason. If multiple different people warn you that he’s a liar, chances are that the warnings are legit.
4. His stories change all the time.
With all the tall tales pathological liars weave, it’s impossible to keep up all the little details. If his stories change details, chances are he’s lying on a regular basis.
5. Any excuses he comes up with don’t really make much sense.
Ever notice how liars have a tendency of mixing up excuses or using lame ideas to defend their tales? Pathological liars do that pretty commonly too.
6. He is terrible at keeping in touch.
Pathological liars aren’t just liars in most cases; they’re cheaters or are straight up living double lives. This makes keeping in touch pretty difficult in many situations, which is why this is a major warning sign you should watch out for.
7. At first, everything seems too perfect.
If there’s one thing that these kinds of people are talented at, it’s making a first impression. They have this ability to appear downright angelic and perfect at first glance. However, you know the old saying: if it appears too good to be true, it probably is.
8. He always seems to be seeking attention and can’t stay away from the spotlight.
Attention-seeking behavior and compulsive lying tend to go hand in hand, primarily because this type of liar usually starts doing it as a way to get attention they never got from their family. They will bend the truth, fish for compliments, and just do what they can to stand out.
9. You’re getting the vibe that his self-esteem is actually pretty bad.
For all the posturing and bragging pathological liars do, they really don’t think highly of themselves. As a result, they lie so they can become the person they wish they could be. If you notice signs of a low self-esteem combined with lies that aren’t really sensible, he’s a pathological liar.
10. No matter how hard you try, you can’t get him to confront the truth when he’s caught in a lie.
Pathological liars double down on their tall tales, and at times, will even lash out violently when they’re caught. Should you notice that he refuses to acknowledge the truth, it’s time to run. It will only get worse from here.
11. When you ask certain questions, he gets defensive.
Pathological liars have a need to keep their reality intact. As a result, if you get close to the truth or ask a question that could lead you to the truth, a pathological liar will most likely get aggressively defensive.
12. When you call him out on a lie, he asks you to repeat yourself or asks you a random question.
Believe it or not, this is a tactic that is used by both politicians and pathological liars. The goal here is to stall you so that they can think of an appropriate answer for you.
13. You notice that he lacks empathy to others, but seems so sweet to you.
Though this is not always the case, pathological liars are often sociopaths that use their lying to manipulate others. If you notice he has no empathy for anyone but you, you should understand that he’s not actually empathetic towards you either.
14. You’ve been starting to question yourself more, or have started to feel crazy.
This is the biggest side effect of hanging out with a pathological liar. Trust me, it’s not you; it’s them.
15. You find yourself feeling manipulated or used, even though you can’t really prove it.
Most people who are in the company of a pathological liar will eventually feel manipulated and used, even though they may not always have proof to it. If you’re getting that vibe, it’s very possible that he’s a pathological liar.
16. For reasons unbeknownst to you, people start treating you differently.
If this happens, watch out! Pathological liars often will stir up drama for drama’s sake, and that means they may be lying about you to other people. If you notice this, it may be time to talk to people to find out what’s going on—and also dump your dude.
17. He shows no remorse when caught in a lie.
This is the “pathological” aspect of pathological lying, I’d wager. People who habitually lie don’t show remorse.
18. He’s been known to cancel dates at the last minute or get very flaky.
Does he suddenly drop off the face of the Earth for no apparent reason? This could be a sign he’s a pathological liar, simply because most people who have this condition also hide addictions, including an addiction to sex or cheating.
19. His personality changes with the people he’s around.
Though we all have this trait, with pathological liars, it’s more pronounced. This is because pathological liars need to have people see themselves as perfect, and everyone’s idea of perfection is different.
20. You have heard (or know) that he has an addiction of some sort.
Studies have shown that pathological liars are very rarely, if ever, liars for lying’s sake alone. They often are hiding addictions or a severe personality disorder that triggers the lying.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she’s not writing, she’s drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.
August 17, 2018 at 01:53AM